Online by Collette Heather

Author:Collette Heather [Heather, Collette]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-10-29T16:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-SEVEN

After Lee had gone – and I had watched him speed away in his car through the living-room window – I took to the bedroom.

With a howl of despair, I threw myself onto the bed, holding the pillow against my face and screaming into it. Once I had finished calling him all the names under the sun – and then some – I sat up.

Crying like this was doing me no favours. I had to think clearly. Rationally. This time, when Lee walked back through the door, I had to know exactly what I was going to say, how I was going to act.

Over and over, I replayed the argument in my mind. The more minutes that passed, the more I was beginning to think that maybe Lee was right in some respects. Either I trusted him, or I didn’t. Either I believed him, or I didn’t.

And if I didn’t believe him, then I shouldn’t be here.

If he was telling the truth, then the only crime he had committed was being perhaps not the right man for me.

But, if I thought about everything that he had said clearly and logically, I didn’t really understand why it should upset me the way that it did.

He was right – everyone was entitled to a past. And if he swore blind that he hadn’t placed a bet for years, and that he had never cheated on his wife with anyone apart from me, then logically, I had no reason to be angry at him. Sure, I hadn’t liked the way he had shouted at me, nor his blanket, ignorant statements that amounted to I am what I am, take it or leave it, but there was denying that all he had said had roots in validity.

On the other hand, if he was lying to me, then my musings were irrelevant because our relationship would be well and truly dead in the water.

But, now that I thought on it with relative objectivity, I couldn’t imagine that he was spinning me lines. I really felt as if he had laid it all out on the table. The question was, what was I going to do about it?

Could I see a future with him? Did I want that?

I loved him so much, or at least, I thought that I did. The more I went over things in my mind, the more I came to the conclusion that nothing he had said was technically that bad. In light of this, was he simply just not the right person for me? That thought made me utterly miserable – was my judgment really that off right now?

I went over his good points in his head – the things that had so strongly attracted me to him in the beginning. I had loved his earthiness, how straight-talking and down-to-earth he was. He wasn’t one to mince his words. He was a breath of fresh air in the arty-farty crowds I moved in, as Lee so eloquently put it. Plus, he

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